Bail’s Inbox

Since SourceMod is on temporary hold and I’ve been using this area as a personal blog, I’m going to just continue with the flow of posting random things here. In that vein, here is a new feature, called “Bail’s Inbox”. I get a lot of crazy/nonsensical messages and people have found them funny. I’ll keep all senders anonymous. To start it off I’ll pick three from the AMX Mod X forums:

Dec, 2005

Subject: Help ME!
Hey Help Me Installing Ur Deathmatch plugin in my server THX! :(

For whatever reason, this user felt the need to capitalize every first letter, until their shift key strength ran out about half way through. This type of PM will never get a reply. The user doesn’t describe any sort of problem, and doesn’t bother to say at what point in the documentation (which they definitely didn’t read) they had problems. Hint to this person: Documentation isn’t there so people can coach you through it with one on one help sessions. It’s there for reading the instructions.

Jan, 2006

Hey, do you have an extra steam account with 1.6? My bro put a password onhis and its really annoying. Im so bored. I need to play CS 1.6 :,(

A lot of people get the idea since I do a lot of coding and I have low SteamIDs, that for some reason I’m either connected to Valve or I have some stash of Valve accounts. I’m not, and I don’t. Furthermore, why would you message a random person and ask them to give you access to a paid game for free, under a violation of the TOS? Lastly, I’m pretty sure Steam accounts have a password by default — meaning this guy probably just got VAC banned.

Jan, 2006

hey dude !! nice work with the plugin :D but... i can't make it work...can you help me..?? please...can u write all the steps to instal the CSDM 2.00 ? i cant do it...please.... my msn is <snip> 
ty dude 4 the attention... have a nice day :D

Another “I didn’t bother to read documentation, and I expect you to write it out for me again”. However what annoys me about this one in particular is the ever increasing trend to say “Here’s my MSN/AIM/etc”. I don’t use MSN/Yahoo/whatnot, don’t assume that I do, and don’t assume that if I did, I’d want to talk to you over it.

Lastly, as a bonus:

Feb, 2006

U need beta tester? i can do it for you i got 2 server for spare even tho i dont like and do not support amxx but ill give it a try

“I don’t like your product and I don’t support it, but can I beta test it?” Odd, for sure, but there’s no point in denying a potential customer. Unfortunately after a few weeks the user still hadn’t bothered to even open the reply PM so I removed it.

More to come…

2 Responses to “Bail’s Inbox”

  1. Basic-Master says:

    Oh, I love such PMs. Here are some quotes of the confusing PMs I got, I really don’t know what I should think of them…

    Jun, 2005:
    need help with my AMX i cant get myself to be an admin

    Nov, 2005:
    lol i just downloaded amx mod how do i make it work and add admins in my server

    ^— alright, you might remember these I-don’t-like-documentations stories…

    Jun, 2005:
    do you by any chance, have any idea how to fix spike lagg?

    Oh, yes, shut your server down and it won’t lag any more.

    Jul, 2005:
    was wondering if you had any knowledge on how to fix this respawn plugin to respawn a player after selecting a team. Sometimes they remain dead until the round ends. Thanks.

    Note: I got this PM in forums which have something like a “Scripting Help” forum, I’m wondering if people like that just aren’t able to read..

    Feb, 2006:
    Plzz can you add swedish lang [i can help you with lang...]


    I still have no idea what I should add “swedish lang” to…

    Okay, that’s it for now, some people are only confusing..

  2. BAILOPAN says:

    I laughed out loud at the Swedish one. It’s pretty funny he assumed you knew Swedish.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.